Another Sleepless Night

Here I am again, awake.

There is so much running through my mind right now. All good things, but good things that have me worried. I know in my hands is an opportunity to create a totally insane monster --- exciting, yes --- scared to fail --- YES!! What do you do? I mean seriously, what do you do when someone hands you thousands of dollars and says, "Go -- you figure out what you want to do with it.... but your goal is to MAKE MORE!"

That's exactly how I feel... OVERWHELMED!! "I don't want to fail" is the persistent thought that keeps me motivated. It's not everyday someone hands you chances to change your life for the better. Of course I'm thankful, but trust me I feel the stress.

Then YOU. Seriously... you just popped out of nowhere and it's itching at me for attention, but I'm sorry it's going to take more effort. I need to stay focused right now. Yes it's true: My hopes are so high that you're kiss might kill me, but I don't know how much longer I can hold on to this hope that's just dangling on a string.

WOW -- I think I really am stressed.

Eazzyyy Breezzyy 3 miles

Time: 7:30 am

Track: Blackhawk

Distance: 3 miles Week Total: 3 miles

Weather: Cloudy, slightly humid about 80*

Today I woke up early... FINALLY... and did a morning run. I can't even remember when the last time I ran in the morning. The sun was already up, I wanted to watch the sun rise while I ran, but I didn't wake up early enough for that. I use to be able to wake up at 4 in the morning to run at 5 and watch the sun open its eyes to the world! I took the secret path that they recently made at the big circle end of the Blackhawk trail. It's roughly half a mile, I never would have thought it was that long, but it actually circles around in the woods for a good distance.

Anyway... my marathon training should be starting next week, so I've decided to make use of this space by blogging about my runs. I'm starting to learn that I really need to drink at least a bottle of water before I go out there.... because the cramps are killing me!!

I need new shoes. These are what I run in:

Mizuno: Wave Inspire 5

Joblessness

Honestly, I hope this blogging doesn't become a regular thing! As much as I love to just come up and write about random things, that just goes to show you that I REALLY have NOTHING to do!

This is the first time in my life to be literally JOBLESS! I have had a regular job since 1999 when I use to work part-time watching over the kids club at Bally's Total Fitness. It's weird to wake up everyday and think.. "What am I going to do today?" It's like being on summer vacation back in high school... catch up with soap operas, watch old sitcoms, and browse around the web.

For the first time in my life I'm actually not worried about not having a job. I'm A-OK with not working. I don't think it makes me lazy per se, but my mind is really a clean plate right now. I'm open for just about anything that comes my way....

With that being said, I'm so excited for the up coming projects that have been offered to me. The wheels are already starting to turn in my mind on how I'm going to "run this town" (sorry, I've been listening to a lot of Jay-Z lately!). I can't wait to get back in the grind of stress, meetings, and accomplishments. I remember when I had piles of paper work to deal with, deadlines after deadlines, phone ringing off the hook & organizing the biggest and baddest event ever while still trying to ace the next test! I love the leadership role and helping others to create such awesome achievements.

Anyways.... the end of the year is going to be a happy one, and I simply can't wait!!

So Today....

My mom called me up to fix BJ up some Theraflu because he doesn't feel good... so as loving sister, I went to go make it for him. Later on after lunch, I ask him if he feels better.

Me: What I like about Theraflu is that it really works, do you feel better?

BJ: Yeah sorta, it's nasty though!

Me: Yeah it's gross, but you'll knock out and wake up feeling better.

BJ: I'm not sleepy though... I'm surprised because I thought I would knock out after this...

He's been asleep for 2 hours now! ANnnddd... I can hear him breathing from the middle room! hahaha... poor guy.

STEP UP or SHUT UP!!

I'm so tired of hearing "MTV is racist because they never show (fill in the blank race here)!!"

Seriously... shut the f*ck up already!! If your "people" did something amazing.. then they would be on MTV or any nationally broadcasted network!! AMAZING PEOPLE ARE JACKPOTS!! As money hungry as everyone is these days... it does NOT matter what color you are... if you do something incredible, you WILL be recognized even if you're GREEN!

Have ya'll been keeping up with the news lately?? Barack Obama... a BLACK MAN is the President of the United States of America right now!! The only reason why there are still racial lines is because of people who STILL complain that their "people" aren't at the top. Well, take all that energy from your mouth and DO something about it instead of just sitting on your ass blogging and crying that your "people" are victims of prejudice.

If Michael Jackson can cross all racial lines with MTV and make an AMAZING and HISTORICAL music video and be the FIRST African American to be on MTV... then get your people to STEP UP or you can just sit your ass down and SHUT UP!!!

I really do get tired of hearing all the damn racial issues. Again, the only reason why racism is still around is because of ignorant people who still complain that their "race" is not at the top. Stop living in the past and live RIGHT NOW. If you really think that racism is what keeps your "people" from making it, then ask yourself: "What good have I (or your "people") really done in this world to be recognized."

I don't doubt that in small areas of this country there is real racism, but the majority of the people here aren't.. and that goes nationally too. There are laws that even prohibit you to think about being racist... so why even go there?