Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Another Sleepless Night


Here I am again, awake.

There is so much running through my mind right now. All good things, but good things that have me worried. I know in my hands is an opportunity to create a totally insane monster --- exciting, yes --- scared to fail --- YES!! What do you do? I mean seriously, what do you do when someone hands you thousands of dollars and says, "Go -- you figure out what you want to do with it.... but your goal is to MAKE MORE!"

That's exactly how I feel... OVERWHELMED!! "I don't want to fail" is the persistent thought that keeps me motivated. It's not everyday someone hands you chances to change your life for the better. Of course I'm thankful, but trust me I feel the stress.

Then YOU. Seriously... you just popped out of nowhere and it's itching at me for attention, but I'm sorry it's going to take more effort. I need to stay focused right now. Yes it's true: My hopes are so high that you're kiss might kill me, but I don't know how much longer I can hold on to this hope that's just dangling on a string.

WOW -- I think I really am stressed.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Eazzyyy Breezzyy 3 miles

Time: 7:30 am
Track: Blackhawk
Distance: 3 miles Week Total: 3 miles
Weather: Cloudy, slightly humid about 80*

Today I woke up early... FINALLY... and did a morning run. I can't even remember when the last time I ran in the morning. The sun was already up, I wanted to watch the sun rise while I ran, but I didn't wake up early enough for that. I use to be able to wake up at 4 in the morning to run at 5 and watch the sun open its eyes to the world! I took the secret path that they recently made at the big circle end of the Blackhawk trail. It's roughly half a mile, I never would have thought it was that long, but it actually circles around in the woods for a good distance.

Anyway... my marathon training should be starting next week, so I've decided to make use of this space by blogging about my runs. I'm starting to learn that I really need to drink at least a bottle of water before I go out there.... because the cramps are killing me!!

I need new shoes. These are what I run in:

Mizuno: Wave Inspire 5


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Joblessness


Honestly, I hope this blogging doesn't become a regular thing! As much as I love to just come up and write about random things, that just goes to show you that I REALLY have NOTHING to do!

This is the first time in my life to be literally JOBLESS! I have had a regular job since 1999 when I use to work part-time watching over the kids club at Bally's Total Fitness. It's weird to wake up everyday and think.. "What am I going to do today?" It's like being on summer vacation back in high school... catch up with soap operas, watch old sitcoms, and browse around the web.

For the first time in my life I'm actually not worried about not having a job. I'm A-OK with not working. I don't think it makes me lazy per se, but my mind is really a clean plate right now. I'm open for just about anything that comes my way....

With that being said, I'm so excited for the up coming projects that have been offered to me. The wheels are already starting to turn in my mind on how I'm going to "run this town" (sorry, I've been listening to a lot of Jay-Z lately!). I can't wait to get back in the grind of stress, meetings, and accomplishments. I remember when I had piles of paper work to deal with, deadlines after deadlines, phone ringing off the hook & organizing the biggest and baddest event ever while still trying to ace the next test! I love the leadership role and helping others to create such awesome achievements.

Anyways.... the end of the year is going to be a happy one, and I simply can't wait!!


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

So Today....




My mom called me up to fix BJ up some Theraflu because he doesn't feel good... so as loving sister, I went to go make it for him. Later on after lunch, I ask him if he feels better.

Me: What I like about Theraflu is that it really works, do you feel better?
BJ: Yeah sorta, it's nasty though!
Me: Yeah it's gross, but you'll knock out and wake up feeling better.
BJ: I'm not sleepy though... I'm surprised because I thought I would knock out after this...

He's been asleep for 2 hours now! ANnnddd... I can hear him breathing from the middle room! hahaha... poor guy.


Monday, September 14, 2009

STEP UP or SHUT UP!!


I'm so tired of hearing "MTV is racist because they never show (fill in the blank race here)!!"

Seriously... shut the f*ck up already!! If your "people" did something amazing.. then they would be on MTV or any nationally broadcasted network!! AMAZING PEOPLE ARE JACKPOTS!! As money hungry as everyone is these days... it does NOT matter what color you are... if you do something incredible, you WILL be recognized even if you're GREEN!

Have ya'll been keeping up with the news lately?? Barack Obama... a BLACK MAN is the President of the United States of America right now!! The only reason why there are still racial lines is because of people who STILL complain that their "people" aren't at the top. Well, take all that energy from your mouth and DO something about it instead of just sitting on your ass blogging and crying that your "people" are victims of prejudice.

If Michael Jackson can cross all racial lines with MTV and make an AMAZING and HISTORICAL music video and be the FIRST African American to be on MTV... then get your people to STEP UP or you can just sit your ass down and SHUT UP!!!

I really do get tired of hearing all the damn racial issues. Again, the only reason why racism is still around is because of ignorant people who still complain that their "race" is not at the top. Stop living in the past and live RIGHT NOW. If you really think that racism is what keeps your "people" from making it, then ask yourself: "What good have I (or your "people") really done in this world to be recognized."

I don't doubt that in small areas of this country there is real racism, but the majority of the people here aren't.. and that goes nationally too. There are laws that even prohibit you to think about being racist... so why even go there?


Monday, September 7, 2009

How to Make Your Heart Happy


Each and everyone of us are given a set of problems from God as a challenge. You have problems, I have problems and the person sitting next to you has problems of their own. Our problems are different because each one of us is unique. God strategically tailored our issues to compliment the lives that we live and to teach us to work on the things about ourselves that need to be improved. One might suffer from health issues, while the other suffers financially, but whatever the inconvenience is, it's there and must be dealt with.

No matter how comfortable your life is, we are going to be faced with problems that will break us down because we are not perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect life, if that was the case then we'd all be Gods in our own ways.


There are 2 ways to deal with your troubles:

1. Cry and whine about it and let it consume your life.

or

2. Accept the struggle and try to understand the challenge that God has given you.


It's easy to cry and whine about our issues. In fact, that's our initial reactions when something doesn't go the way we planned. To hear the doctor's diagnosis of cancer brings out the first round of tears. It's OK to cry about it at first, but the next step is to either allow it to consume you or to accept it and move on.

If you let your problems consume your life, you will NEVER be happy. Each minute of your existence will be absorbed by the powerful pores of the sponge called PROBLEMS. The life you USE to know will be depleted because you have replaced it with the current issues at hand. Don't get me wrong, problems do change things, sometimes it changes EVERYTHING, but those changes are not so bad when they are simply accepted and dealt with.

Accepting your problems means admitting that it is there to begin with and then receiving it with favor in order to improve your own personal life. The reason we have problems to begin with is because we are not perfect. We all need to improve something about ourselves and problems are what high-light those personal issues. They challenge us to really look into the mirror and see what's inside of us.


"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us."
-- Helen Keller


For example, a bad break up tears your heart into pieces and demolishes you from the person who you thought you were. You yearn and think you "need" that other person in order to survive life. Your broken heart starts to exhaust you and the overwhelming pain you feel starts to change the person you are. It feels as if you can't ever smile or laugh the same anymore just because the other person chose to walk out of your life. You're desperate and try to do anything and everything to get them back. You even convince yourself that a friendship with that person is going to eventually make them love you again.

So what now?

After the crying and accepting that because the person left you makes you sad, take a step back and look at what God is trying to tell you. Because they are gone, you realize your attachment to that one single person, so ask yourself: "What else could I be attached to?" What does that say about YOU? That attachment feeling might make you realize that you are attached to worldly things such as money, expensive goods, etc. and try to control everything and anything around you. In reality, you control NOTHING except for your own life. So the lesson learned from the bad break up?? LET GO!! Don't hold on to the things you really can't hold on to because it's an impossible task! Once you've learned to "let go" of that other person, you will learn that you can "let go" of anything in life and won't hold such an emotional attachment to anything.

Another example I have is my own personal problems. For those of you who know me also know that the Prelude hasn't been working since February. I get around, but not the way I use to. It truly sucks to have to wait for a car or wait for a ride just to simply go to Wal-mart or the gym. I feel like I've lost my personal freedom and independence because I'm relying on other people for rides. After months of trying understand what God is telling me, I've realized my faults. It's not a punishment from God that I have no car, rather it's God trying to teach me responsibility. A car is responsibility. There's insurance to keep up with, stickers, oil, gas, tires, etc.... the list goes on forever. Responsibility is something I know I take for granted and it's obvious with the current status of my car. Lesson learned: Don't take your responsibilities for granted. They are there for a reason and must be taken cared of and not ignored.



If you ask God for patience, he won't just give you patience because you won't know what to do with it, rather he will put you in a situation to TEST your patience so you will understand what patience really is.

If you ask God for a job, you won't get the jobs you think you qualify for because that job is not the one you asked God for.

If you ask God to strengthen your faith, you might get stricken with an illness to test how strong your faith can be.

Just like you can't give a 1st grader a book and tell her to read, she must first learn the sounds of ABC's. If a toddler cried every time he fell from walking a few steps, he will never grow up to be a track star. God teaches us virtues through our problems. So look inside your heart and figure out what your problems are and embrace them. The more you understand your crosses, the more you will realize about yourself that a bathroom mirror can ever reveal.

Problems are not negative, in fact, they are the first steps to your solution to happiness.

BE OPEN. Opening your hearts to your problems will allow the happiness to seep through.