January

With Papa's death anniversary coming up & Vinh's right around the corner, and despite the fact that my birthday is this month, I can't help but feel sadness at this time every year. Two great people were taken from this world almost exactly a year apart. Papa lived his life to the fullest, yet suffered the last 5 years of his life; while Vinh at such a young age was drastically taken from us without any warning. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, one can never prepare and be ready for the true heartbreak reality of death until it happens to someone close to you.

For the past 7 months, I have learned the ins and outs of staffing in healthcare. It's brutal and cutthroat. We work with a lot of hospice companies around town and every time we are given a case, my thoughts are always for the family that is going through such a trying time. Death is a part of life, and learning how to cope with it is the challenge to overcome. It breaks my heart when dealing with some of these hospice companies who are not so compassionate with the patients and their families. I just finished begging and pleading one of my nurses to pick up a case that is over an hour drive from her because the company failed to do their part in communicating to us about having enough coverage for the case. If it wasn't my persistence and a little prayer, the dying patient and her family would have been left with an overwhelming situation that they are not prepared to deal with on their own.

I did the best I could trying to cover the case as far as I can, but I can't say the same for the hospice company. It felt almost as if they did not care, it didn't even feel like they even tried. The on call nurse even told me that if we can't find anyone, the case "will just have to end at 8a." WHAT?! I hate being on call too, but I keep trying and trying until there is truly nothing left. Eventually, the psycho calling pays off. Don't get me wrong, not all companies are like this one. In fact, my favorite one would NEVER miss coverage for any case. It just sucks having to deal with these situations.

Bin Laden Dies on Divine Mercy Sunday

In the last hours of Divine Mercy Sunday, shows were interrupted to tell us that President Obama had breaking news on America's national security. Minutes later, CNN was reporting: "Osama Bin Laden is dead."
Sunday morning, the only mass I was able to make was in Friendswood, not my frist choice, but the only choice I had since it was the last English mass in my area before the evening masses started. The Homily of course, was about Pope John Paul. He was beatified on Divine Mercy Sunday, a very special day for him and for all Catholics who are aware of recent history. St. Faustina is responsible for the Divine Mercy devotion and Pope John Paul was the Pope who canonized her and made her a saint. So, it is very fitting that his beatification (the 2nd step to becoming a saint) happened the second Sunday of Easter, Divine Mercy Sunday.
The priest, Father Benny, opened up with the story of a picture in Time magazine of Pope John Paul speaking to his attempted assassinator. In 1981, the Pope was shot 4 times at St. Peter's Square in Rome amongst thousands of people as he was blessing them. Years later, the Pope visited his shooter in jail, spoke with him and forgave him. Father Benny connected the Pope's mercy with the intentions and meanings of the "Divine Mercy."
Mercy is defined by Webster's Dictionary as: compassion or forbearance shown to an offender or subject; clemency or kindness extended to someone instead of strictness or severity.
Despite the fact that Pope John Paul nearly died from one man's acts, he was able to forgive him. He even faced his shooter and forgave him personally. What a beautiful story. Of course, instinct would have us ask, "Why would he do that?" The Pontiff, speaking to children at a Rome parish on Oct. 10, 1999, said the teachings of Christ instructed him to forgive Agca.

Forgiveness, an act of love that we all seem to struggle with. Pope John's Mercy towards his shooter is the perfect example of God's Mercy towards us. If God can forgive us and show mercy to us, then why can't we do it to one another?
So we come to today's "breaking news." I find it ironic that Bin Laden's death occurred on the exact day of Pope John Paul's beatification, Divine Mercy Sunday. Is God sending us a message? Is He asking this country to learn how to forgive and show mercy? Bin Laden's ruthless and murderous acts upon the United States and the rest of the world are horrific, yet how can we truly forgive someone like him? If anytime Pope John Paul is needed, it is now. It scares me to see people praise a person's death. Even if he is a cruel and evil person, he was still one of God's children. I am in no way in support of Bin Laden, but justifying his death and finding joy in it, just goes to show you how much prayer this county needs! This country doesn't get it. I really don't know how to explain how I feel, but as relieved as I am to know that the leader of Al Queda has been taken down, it scares me to see how joyous everyone is about it.
God bless us all, especially the troops who are still over there away from their loved ones.

Food for the Soul

The funniest thing I heard today was at church.

I love going to church at St. Francis Cabrini because not only is it a smaller church, but the priest is always straight and to the point with lots of humor. Father Frank is your typical old school Italian who loves his pasta (and food in general). Today he explained that the other night he sat down in front of the TV with a big bowl of spaghetti watching the news about all the turmoil in Libya. The news was reporting on the bombings and the innocent lives who are in danger and just all this violence on that side of the world.

Then he said: “No matter what goes on in this world, us Catholics have to eat!”

As for someone who likes to eat, it sure made me laugh!! Then he went on to explain that as Catholics, we can do that because we have such strong faith in God. We have full trust in him to take care of us that we can sit down and eat, and not be in constant worry about everything that goes on around us.

Pretty deep stuff.

Restroom Breaks

Week 1

Day: 4 of 112

Workout: 30 minute jog or rest (I chose the jog, yay me!)

I missed you today!

I ran iPod-less today. I wanted to turn around and get it, but my mother dear didn't want to waste anymore time. So, when she realized she had forgotten her phone, I reminded her how quickly she wanted to get to the park! HA!

So I'm running along at Blackhawk trail (that's what I like to call it) and every time I set foot on that black pavement, I always get this anxious feeling of fear that I'm going to run into someone I don't want to see. When I get my comfortable pace going, I realize I'm having a hard time breathing. After yesterday's speed work, it felt like my body didn't know how to breathe anymore! I struggled a bit but quickly got things rolling. Then about 16 minutes into my run, about a quarter mile from the port-o-potties I had to stop because I started getting this pain in my tummy. It felt like a rock had just formed in the pit of my stomach! Yeah, I had to go to the bathroom. That's got to be one of the worse feeling in the world, seeing where you want to be, but yet it feels like it's taking hours to get there.

From lessons past, I've learned to ALWAYS use the restroom before you leave to go run. I've had to make a few pit stops at a friends house because I was still about 3 miles away from home. So embarrassing. Anyways, after a quick pit stop to the restroom, I finished the rest of my 30 minute run and had a wonderful dinner.

-The End.

*P.S.* -- Thanks Dee-no for fixing my bike!

One Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church

About 2 weeks ago, I braved going to a Lebanese Catholic church by myself. I was excited on going because my Aunt kept telling me I should "experience" the church. In my mind, I kept wondering what kind of "experience" it is if it's just church?

So I decided to go and on that Sunday morning, I was actually early. Back home, I never fail to at least be 5 minutes late to church when I go by myself. As usual, I tried to find a seat close to the front, little did I know at that moment how big of a mistake it was going to be! Upon my arrival, the small congregation was just finishing up the Rosary and quickly they prayed the Angelus lead by the priest. I kept thinking how awesome it was to be able to pray with the priest leading the prayers right before mass, because they are always busy doing other things. After the last "Amen" the priest got up and went through a small door next to the alter. About 15 minutes later, the church bells started ringing and I was still debating on going to the back and looking for a missallette, another unknown mistake at that moment. When the mass started, the Priest came out with his alter server, and that was it! I noticed the differences of celebration right off the bat when the Priest was holding onto a crucifix instead of being lead into the church by one.

Maronite Mass is truly an experience! Order of worship is pretty much the same, but the actual expression of worship is totally different. After church, I felt guilty for going to that mass because it was so odd to me. All my life, I've only known how to celebrate the Roman Catholic way, so it was a culture shock! Sitting at the front with no one in front of me to follow made it even more intimidating! Bible readings and the Homily was given as well as offerings and Communion, but it was just very unique, very zealous in their worship. They weren't actually praying from a missallette, they were praying from a prayer book, called the Qurbono, which means "holy offering" in Syriac. When the Priest was consecrating the Host, it was almost as if he was performing some type of magic spell and on top of that, the language he was using was just as mystical!! Curious of what I had just experienced, I quickly researched the internet on Lebanese Catholics when I got home, making sure that I attended a Catholic ceremony. Through my research is when I learned that there are many "Rites" throughout our Church. Rites being defined as: an ecclesiastical, or church, tradition about how the sacraments are to be celebrated (rite defined).

How the sacraments are to be celebrated!? -- I had no idea there were different ways!!! Much to my relief, I realized it was "ok" for me to go to a Maronite Mass because it was 1 of the 20 different "Rites" that was celebrated in our One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. That line from The Nicene Creed became clear to me that Sunday and brought to my attention why people always referred themselves as Roman Catholics. The mass was truly a moving mass for me. The gestures and prayers that people offered were so fervent and you almost feel as if you're truly witnessing a sacred ceremony!

Upon further research, I found out that the Maronite Church was lead by St. Maron who hid his worshipers into the mountains of Lebanon, away from prosecution. Of all the Rites in the history of the Church, the Maronites never separated from the Church and has always remained faithful to Her. In fact, it is the closest celebration in modern day to the way Jesus himself celebrated mass! I soon found out the reason why the consecration of the Host felt so "magical" because it was performed in Syriac. Apparently, Syriac is a dialect of Aramaic which was Jesus' language!! After understanding the significance of the word Syriac, I remembered feeling Jesus' presence during that portion of the mass. It was truly a beautiful experience.

Satisfied with my research, I gained a deeper respect and appreciation about the history, beliefs and the universality of the Catholic faith. It made me think about how awesome it is that we are given the freedom to express our faith in so many ways, yet it makes me question as to why so many religions have separated themselves from the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. If you truly think about it, all the "Christian Faiths" are protestants of the Church of Christ. Historically Catholics are criticized for their strong belief system, but if one actually looked into the history and understood the foundations of our Faith, and truly understand the spirituality behind it all, then they would no doubt convert.

Knowing the Holy Trinity is a wonderful thing. Understanding and feeling the true love of God is a blessing beyond words. I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't know Him. A few years ago, I made it a mission to "live my life through God," not knowing what I was looking for or trying to understand. Slowly each day I am coming to comprehend and appreciate the meaning of that complicated quote. I truly wish I could help people to learn who God is and really feel His love for us.