I'm still high off life after these 40 days. I'm still in awe at how much my thinking, emotions, attitude and overall idea of life has changed. I went into this like an open book, allowing anything and everything to happen to me as it comes. I'm so glad I was able to document my journey through pictures and words. Below is a link to an album of my journey.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
40 Days Later...
So the plan was to update each week with a journal entry of what I learned and the experiences that I went through during my first 40 Days journey. Obvi it didn't happen. Life just got really busy and I did so much journaling by hand, it was almost like another chore to come up with content for my blog. So I'm sorry to disappoint the few who actually try to keep up with my blog.
My initial intentions for the 40 Days was to find balance. The word screamed in my head for the first entire week. Prior to the 40 Days, I was a jumbled mess. I had a lot of things I was juggling at one time and I still had other things I wanted to work on. I had goals in every area of my life and I was doing my best to balance it all out so that I can achieve them all. Time Management was the balance I thought I needed, but my soul knew differently. I found balance alright, but not in the way I thought I was going to.
Throughout the first 2 weeks, all these emotions and thoughts that I've managed to keep hidden for years started to arise. As much as I tried to fight these negative words, insecurities and bad thoughts, they just glaringly became clear to me and it was starting to give me anxiety again! The excavation questions after each chapter made me feel worse than I was already feeling. As I continued to push through the practices and deal with my deep thoughts, I struggled to understand what I needed to do with them.
Then through my practice, the words "let go" started to consistently show up. LET GO. That's what I needed to do... LET GO! Let go of negative self talk, thoughts that made me sad, and anything else that made me feel anxious. It was OK to feel these things, but I had to LET THEM GO in order to make space for the sunshine that I needed in my life.
It didn't hit me until our last 40 Days meeting, but this was the BALANCE I needed. I needed to learn to balance the vulnerabilities in my life with my strengths. For so long I have weighed myself down with so much insecurities and I've punished myself for not being the person I thought I should be. My heart and soul is healing now because I understand that strengths and vulnerabilities go hand in hand. They cannot overpower each other, they just have to stand side by side in order to make you a complete and whole person.
Life is about balancing The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. It's easy to love ourself during The Good times, but a lot more challenging during The Bad & The Ugly. To live life fully, we must experience EVERYTHING, and it's in the moments that are the most difficult that we have to remember that nothing is permanent and we will eventually balance ourselves back to normal. Yoga has taught me dukha & sukha - finding the balance of ease and pleasure with pain and suffering.
My initial intentions for the 40 Days was to find balance. The word screamed in my head for the first entire week. Prior to the 40 Days, I was a jumbled mess. I had a lot of things I was juggling at one time and I still had other things I wanted to work on. I had goals in every area of my life and I was doing my best to balance it all out so that I can achieve them all. Time Management was the balance I thought I needed, but my soul knew differently. I found balance alright, but not in the way I thought I was going to.
Throughout the first 2 weeks, all these emotions and thoughts that I've managed to keep hidden for years started to arise. As much as I tried to fight these negative words, insecurities and bad thoughts, they just glaringly became clear to me and it was starting to give me anxiety again! The excavation questions after each chapter made me feel worse than I was already feeling. As I continued to push through the practices and deal with my deep thoughts, I struggled to understand what I needed to do with them.
Then through my practice, the words "let go" started to consistently show up. LET GO. That's what I needed to do... LET GO! Let go of negative self talk, thoughts that made me sad, and anything else that made me feel anxious. It was OK to feel these things, but I had to LET THEM GO in order to make space for the sunshine that I needed in my life.
It didn't hit me until our last 40 Days meeting, but this was the BALANCE I needed. I needed to learn to balance the vulnerabilities in my life with my strengths. For so long I have weighed myself down with so much insecurities and I've punished myself for not being the person I thought I should be. My heart and soul is healing now because I understand that strengths and vulnerabilities go hand in hand. They cannot overpower each other, they just have to stand side by side in order to make you a complete and whole person.
- It's OK to not be married with kids right now - I own a business and that is my first priority.
- It's OK to have gained 20 lbs. last year - I was under a lot of stress and pressure and I'm doing something about it now (I've lost 10 lbs. since November, yay!).
- It's OK I don't have a boyfriend - I'm still learning how to love myself so I can love another.
- It's OK Sticky's isn't a restaurant yet - this is only our 2nd year, there's still so much to learn about running a business.
- It's OK to be lazy sometimes - it's my body's way of telling me that I need to rest.
Life is about balancing The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. It's easy to love ourself during The Good times, but a lot more challenging during The Bad & The Ugly. To live life fully, we must experience EVERYTHING, and it's in the moments that are the most difficult that we have to remember that nothing is permanent and we will eventually balance ourselves back to normal. Yoga has taught me dukha & sukha - finding the balance of ease and pleasure with pain and suffering.
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| Day 2 of 40: My strong support system. |
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| Day 3 of 40: Being on this mat wasn't always easy. |
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| Day 27 of 40: The BEST yoga teacher EVER! |
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| Day 28 of 40: My 1st "IG Yoga Pic" |
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| Day 34 of 40: #YogaSquad |
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| My first ever public Before & After pic... YIKES! |
Friday, January 22, 2016
Acting UP for 40 Days: Week 1 - Finding Balance
The word balance has been haunting my brain for the last 2 weeks. The word in bold letters will blatantly show up in my mind's eye lingering and begging for attention.
BALANCE..
BALANCE...
BALANCE.....
As much as I try to ignore it, out of no where the pesky word starts to itch on my frontal lobe like a Texas-sized Mosquito bite on the worst part of my body... the ankle.
BALANCE...
BALANCE.....
BALANCE.........
Without even me putting thought to it, my subconscious keeps screaming the mantra...
BALANCE...
BALANCE......
BALANCE..........
OK!!!! I get it! My life is in disarray. I can't help it if I'm a passionate person who believes I can take on 5 totally different projects all at one time, going at it 100%. It's my gift of multi-tasking. It's not that bad is it?? HA! These days it honestly feels like a passion of horror. I recently realized that I have this false sense of belief that I can do anything and everything in this world. No, it's not a bad thing, but it is when it's 10 different things going on at one time.
I was recently introduced to a 40 day Personal Revolution program hosted by a local Houston yoga studio. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time in my life. As we all try to piece our lives together after the holidays, January is the best time to reflect on what has happened and where you want your life to go. Starting in October, my life felt like it was spiraling out of control. The past and all the things I was ignoring started to come back and haunt me like an angry spirit stuck in limbo. All things that I pushed to to back of my mind started to creep its way to the forefront and it was pretty relentless.
This experience has taught me a lot about myself. I now have a full understanding of "presence." It doesn't only mean that you have to physically be there for someone else, but you also have to be there most importantly for YOURSELF. A strong foundation is what keeps a house standing for hundreds of years. You will not last 30+ years of your life if your foundation is falling apart. Mine was getting pretty unstable.
My intentions for these 40 days is to find BALANCE. I want to be able to balance a healthy lifestyle with my ever consuming thriving business. I want to balance peace and joy in my heart so that I can spread it to others around me. I have big dreams in my life and I'm tired of just thinking about it, I need to be living it. Prioritizing and balancing the things I love to do will help me create that foundation I need to grow as a human being. This first week of 40 days is coming to an end and already I'm starting to feel the changes in my soul. I was excited for day 1 and now I'm thrilled to see who I become at day 40.
I was recently introduced to a 40 day Personal Revolution program hosted by a local Houston yoga studio. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time in my life. As we all try to piece our lives together after the holidays, January is the best time to reflect on what has happened and where you want your life to go. Starting in October, my life felt like it was spiraling out of control. The past and all the things I was ignoring started to come back and haunt me like an angry spirit stuck in limbo. All things that I pushed to to back of my mind started to creep its way to the forefront and it was pretty relentless.
This experience has taught me a lot about myself. I now have a full understanding of "presence." It doesn't only mean that you have to physically be there for someone else, but you also have to be there most importantly for YOURSELF. A strong foundation is what keeps a house standing for hundreds of years. You will not last 30+ years of your life if your foundation is falling apart. Mine was getting pretty unstable.
My intentions for these 40 days is to find BALANCE. I want to be able to balance a healthy lifestyle with my ever consuming thriving business. I want to balance peace and joy in my heart so that I can spread it to others around me. I have big dreams in my life and I'm tired of just thinking about it, I need to be living it. Prioritizing and balancing the things I love to do will help me create that foundation I need to grow as a human being. This first week of 40 days is coming to an end and already I'm starting to feel the changes in my soul. I was excited for day 1 and now I'm thrilled to see who I become at day 40.
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